17
Sep

imagine-assassins:

Do not picture your OTP having a kid and losing said kid in a ball pit.

reblogged 5 days ago @ 10:52 pm with 12,103 notes via/source
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17
Sep

I know that you’re confused about who you are, so I’m going to tell you…

reblogged 5 days ago @ 10:18 pm with 1,743 notes via/source
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#it's a really bad character comparison for the au we're doing now whoOPS #but they're literally jiraiya and akemi ok #i watched this show for like half a seasons but w/e it's them
16
Sep

In all my years of living, I’ve come close to death only twice. The first time I broke six ribs, both arms, and ruptured a handful of internal organs. That was when I was caught doing “research” at a hot spring and Tsunade beat me like a drum. 

reblogged 6 days ago @ 04:25 pm with 1,541 notes via/source
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16
Sep

rpmemedatabase:

"Good thing you know how to cheat."
"No, no. Badtouch. Badtouch!"
"Don’t say it. I’m in enough pain."
"I’m serious. You need help!"
"I have no more love to give today."
"Do it badass like I would."
"All these idiots think about is sex."
"I’m sorry, what’s that? I can’t hear you over the sound of my deafening awesomeness."
"You should’ve thought about that before you took your stupid clothes off."
"If you ever breathe a word of this I will gut you like a carp."
"Just for once I want you to tell me the truth."
"I’ll follow you anywhere, my sweet."
"Oh, come on. Where is the trust?"
"You can’t tattoo a frickin’ baby!"
"There’s not enough therapy in the world to undo that."
"We all gotta do what we all gotta do."
"I’m trying to stay positive, you know?"
"I don’t need a baby to validate my existence."
"But I don’t want to be people!"
"That was actually pretty ballsy." 
"Everything out here either wants to eat me or give me malaria."
"I think I’ve earned a kebab."
"I know you’re in a lot of pain so just try to relax."
"I am unbelievably angry right now."
"How am I the bad guy?"
"Super glad I didn’t wet my pants."
"As long as you learn something from it, it’s not a mistake."
"What? Are you nuts?"
"Nipple town!"
"No words. My words have failed me."
"You’re just doing this to spite me!"
"Let your weapon be an extension of your body."
"I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. But I’m under a lot of stress."
"Why would you think it’s okay to share that?"
"It’s called nymphomania."
"And just for the record: I don’t care."
"This is so boring and forever-taking."
"Vincent Van Gogh fuck yourself."
"You colossal fucking idiot."
"Keep it in your pants, sister."
"Even for you that is pathetic."
"And there goes my erection."
"Way to go, stupid."
"Has anyone ever told you you are profoundly self-centred?"
"You’re as dumb as you are stupid."

reblogged 1 week ago @ 12:29 am with 94 notes via/source
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15
Sep
maskedscarecrow:

    [ art credit ]
Wow. Not much to say, really, other than thank you. 
I appreciate every single one of my followers, old and new — old followers for sticking with me (through my many hiatuses and snail-speed ship development) and new followers for clicking into my blog and somehow finding something worth following. I really enjoy interacting with everyone, and it’s beyond flattering to have reached this milestone. 
Apologies in advance if I miss anyone! This is definitely not an exhaustive list of people I will follow forever.
    his important people
+  aninjahound  +  burningupthewill  +  eternally-youth  +  little-golden-egg  +  passthesake  +  raposaselada  +  unwaveringmotives  +  unwiltingblossom  +  yondammnn  +
    brothers from... the same mother
+  chxdorii  +  hatake-fame  +  sonofwhitefang  +  thousandbirds  +  warxdog  +  wellhonedblade  + 
    RPers that you should probably follow
+  a-new-dynasty  +  adiutorem  +  anbuswag  +  bloodlacedscythes  +  butterfly-choji  +  desertgourd  +  drinkingwiththehokage  +  fuzzybrowss  +  godaimekazekagesama  +  godofsenju  +  gxldenxflash  +  indigocosmos  +  kagemxne  +  konohawarhawk  +  leavesoftoka  +  mind-smith  +  naru-uzumaki  +  novelisticdetail  +  ragtagmoneybag  +  rainuzumaki  +  scorpion-stings  +  shintenshin-nin  +  somniare—aeternum  +  spiritwithinthesand  +  super-pervy-sage  +  thequeenofsand  +  xhaeres  +
    non-RPers who are also pretty great
 +  make-a-guess  +  pikacheeka   +  variksenpelatin  +
    mini giveaway
It’s not a milestone without a giveaway, right? I’ll be random-generator-picking three winners, who will each get to choose one of the following:
a short fic  [ info ]
a promo/follow-forever banner  [ examples: 1 | 2 | 3 ]
a page code  [ examples: 1 | 2 ]
a fanmix for a character/ship/anything [ my 8tracks ]
Both likes and reblogs count, but you have to be following me, since this is for thanking my followers. I’m going to be pretty busy for the next while, thought, so I can’t promise speed. Who am I kidding, I can’t promise quality, either. (Oh, and if you’d like to like/reblog without entering the giveaway, just shoot me a quick message to opt out!)

maskedscarecrow:

    [ art credit ]

Wow. Not much to say, really, other than thank you

I appreciate every single one of my followers, old and new — old followers for sticking with me (through my many hiatuses and snail-speed ship development) and new followers for clicking into my blog and somehow finding something worth following. I really enjoy interacting with everyone, and it’s beyond flattering to have reached this milestone. 

Apologies in advance if I miss anyone! This is definitely not an exhaustive list of people I will follow forever.

    his important people

+  aninjahound  +  burningupthewill  +  eternally-youth  +  little-golden-egg  +  passthesake  +  raposaselada  +  unwaveringmotives  +  unwiltingblossom  +  yondammnn  +

    brothers from... the same mother

+  chxdorii  +  hatake-fame  +  sonofwhitefang  +  thousandbirds  +  warxdog  +  wellhonedblade  + 

    RPers that you should probably follow

+  a-new-dynasty  +  adiutorem  +  anbuswag  +  bloodlacedscythes  +  butterfly-choji  +  desertgourd  +  drinkingwiththehokage  +  fuzzybrowss  +  godaimekazekagesama  +  godofsenju  +  gxldenxflash  +  indigocosmos  +  kagemxne  +  konohawarhawk  +  leavesoftoka  +  mind-smith  +  naru-uzumaki  +  novelisticdetail  +  ragtagmoneybag  +  rainuzumaki  +  scorpion-stings  +  shintenshin-nin  +  somniare—aeternum  +  spiritwithinthesand  +  super-pervy-sage  +  thequeenofsand  +  xhaeres  +

    non-RPers who are also pretty great

 +  make-a-guess  +  pikacheeka   +  variksenpelatin  +

    mini giveaway

It’s not a milestone without a giveaway, right? I’ll be random-generator-picking three winners, who will each get to choose one of the following:

  • a short fic  [ info ]
  • a promo/follow-forever banner  [ examples: 1 | 2 | 3 ]
  • a page code  [ examples: 1 | 2 ]
  • fanmix for a character/ship/anything [ my 8tracks ]

Both likes and reblogs count, but you have to be following me, since this is for thanking my followers. I’m going to be pretty busy for the next while, thought, so I can’t promise speed. Who am I kidding, I can’t promise quality, either. (Oh, and if you’d like to like/reblog without entering the giveaway, just shoot me a quick message to opt out!)

reblogged 1 week ago @ 10:41 pm with 42 notes via/source
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#yooo thankyou!
15
Sep

where the fuck is my poor-as-fuck-roommates au? with two people moving in together because they’re both too freaking poor to afford an apartment on their own.  with the two of them sleeping in the same bed at night because winters get fucking cold and their heat gets shut off on a regular basis.  with the two of them showering together because it helps “save on the water bill”.  with the two of them refusing to move out of that hole in the wall even when they can afford to because it’s not just a shitty, run down apartment - it’s home.

reblogged 1 week ago @ 01:09 am with 2,541 notes via/source
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14
Sep
maskedscarecrow said:

[text]: You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it

Texts from Last Night inspired text starters [nsfw and sfw]

[text]: Walking is really fuckin difficult when you’re as drunk as I was

[text]: The real question is did you give me beer

[text]: You know the old saying respect your elders deliver them beer via a funnel

answered 1 week ago @ 03:16 pm with 2 notes
#god kakashi #maskedscarecrow
14
Sep
  • [text]: I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
  • [text]: I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
  • [text]: We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
  • [text]: I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
  • [text]: two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
  • [text]: I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
  • [text]: Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
  • [text]: According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
  • [text]: You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
  • [text]: I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
  • [text]: What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
  • [text]: Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
  • [text]: YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
  • [text]: Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
  • [text]: I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
  • [text]: I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
  • [text]: You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
  • [text]: I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
  • [text]: I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
  • [text]: Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
  • [text]: A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
  • [text]: OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
  • [text]: Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
  • [text]: Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
  • [text]: I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
  • [text]: I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
  • [text]: Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
  • [text]: I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
  • [text]: Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
  • [text]: I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
  • [text]: When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
  • [text]: Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
  • [text]: i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
  • [text]: That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
  • [text]: I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
  • [text]: I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
  • [text]: Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
  • [text]: I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
  • [text]: Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
  • [text]: Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
  • [text]: I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
  • [text]: She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
  • [text]: We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
  • [text]: So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
  • [text]: That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
  • [text]: I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
  • [text]: Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
  • [text]: Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
  • [text]: I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
  • [text]: Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
  • [text]: I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
  • [text]: How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
  • [text]: Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
  • [text]: I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
  • [text]: You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
reblogged 1 week ago @ 12:56 pm with 2,864 notes via/source
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13
Sep
i usually go with “does it do more damage” but im a bash happy piece of shit

butterfree has decided to learn three status effect moves why’s he gotta do that

posted 1 week ago @ 07:46 pm with 1 note
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#scadaz #studious little dumbass #ooc
13
Sep
//if you ever want ~~advice or something, feel free to ask me, merchant chan desu. i haven’t actually played x/y yet but i (sadly) know a pretty decent amount about the moves in most gens.

yeS I WILL i mean i only have three pokemon and the highest level one i have is only level twenty so i mean i figure i’m not gonna screw anything up too bad but still yes that would be lovELY 

posted 1 week ago @ 07:16 pm with 1 note
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#secondbutterfly #question 1: how am i gonna cope with my cute bunny pokemon turning into a grotesque huge rabbit from hell #ooc