Do not picture your OTP having a kid and losing said kid in a ball pit.
I know that you’re confused about who you are, so I’m going to tell you…
In all my years of living, I’ve come close to death only twice. The first time I broke six ribs, both arms, and ruptured a handful of internal organs. That was when I was caught doing “research” at a hot spring and Tsunade beat me like a drum.
"Good thing you know how to cheat."
"No, no. Badtouch. Badtouch!"
"Don’t say it. I’m in enough pain."
"I’m serious. You need help!"
"I have no more love to give today."
"Do it badass like I would."
"All these idiots think about is sex."
"I’m sorry, what’s that? I can’t hear you over the sound of my deafening awesomeness."
"You should’ve thought about that before you took your stupid clothes off."
"If you ever breathe a word of this I will gut you like a carp."
"Just for once I want you to tell me the truth."
"I’ll follow you anywhere, my sweet."
"Oh, come on. Where is the trust?"
"You can’t tattoo a frickin’ baby!"
"There’s not enough therapy in the world to undo that."
"We all gotta do what we all gotta do."
"I’m trying to stay positive, you know?"
"I don’t need a baby to validate my existence."
"But I don’t want to be people!"
"That was actually pretty ballsy."
"Everything out here either wants to eat me or give me malaria."
"I think I’ve earned a kebab."
"I know you’re in a lot of pain so just try to relax."
"I am unbelievably angry right now."
"How am I the bad guy?"
"Super glad I didn’t wet my pants."
"As long as you learn something from it, it’s not a mistake."
"What? Are you nuts?"
"No words. My words have failed me."
"You’re just doing this to spite me!"
"Let your weapon be an extension of your body."
"I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. But I’m under a lot of stress."
"Why would you think it’s okay to share that?"
"It’s called nymphomania."
"And just for the record: I don’t care."
"This is so boring and forever-taking."
"Vincent Van Gogh fuck yourself."
"You colossal fucking idiot."
"Keep it in your pants, sister."
"Even for you that is pathetic."
"And there goes my erection."
"Way to go, stupid."
"Has anyone ever told you you are profoundly self-centred?"
"You’re as dumb as you are stupid."
[ art credit ]
Wow. Not much to say, really, other than thank you.
I appreciate every single one of my followers, old and new — old followers for sticking with me (through my many hiatuses and snail-speed ship development) and new followers for clicking into my blog and somehow finding something worth following. I really enjoy interacting with everyone, and it’s beyond flattering to have reached this milestone.
Apologies in advance if I miss anyone! This is definitely not an exhaustive list of people I will follow forever.
his important peoplebrothers from... the same motherRPers that you should probably follow
+ a-new-dynasty + adiutorem + anbuswag + bloodlacedscythes + butterfly-choji + desertgourd + drinkingwiththehokage + fuzzybrowss + godaimekazekagesama + godofsenju + gxldenxflash + indigocosmos + kagemxne + konohawarhawk + leavesoftoka + mind-smith + naru-uzumaki + novelisticdetail + ragtagmoneybag + rainuzumaki + scorpion-stings + shintenshin-nin + somniare—aeternum + spiritwithinthesand + super-pervy-sage + thequeenofsand + xhaeres +non-RPers who are also pretty greatmini giveaway
It’s not a milestone without a giveaway, right? I’ll be random-generator-picking three winners, who will each get to choose one of the following:
- a short fic [ info ]
- a promo/follow-forever banner [ examples: 1 | 2 | 3 ]
- a page code [ examples: 1 | 2 ]
- a fanmix for a character/ship/anything [ my 8tracks ]
Both likes and reblogs count, but you have to be following me, since this is for thanking my followers. I’m going to be pretty busy for the next while, thought, so I can’t promise speed. Who am I kidding, I can’t promise quality, either. (Oh, and if you’d like to like/reblog without entering the giveaway, just shoot me a quick message to opt out!)
where the fuck is my poor-as-fuck-roommates au? with two people moving in together because they’re both too freaking poor to afford an apartment on their own. with the two of them sleeping in the same bed at night because winters get fucking cold and their heat gets shut off on a regular basis. with the two of them showering together because it helps “save on the water bill”. with the two of them refusing to move out of that hole in the wall even when they can afford to because it’s not just a shitty, run down apartment - it’s home.
[text]: You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Texts from Last Night inspired text starters [nsfw and sfw]
[text]: Walking is really fuckin difficult when you’re as drunk as I was
[text]: The real question is did you give me beer
[text]: You know the old saying respect your elders deliver them beer via a funnel
i usually go with “does it do more damage” but im a bash happy piece of shit
butterfree has decided to learn three status effect moves why’s he gotta do that
//if you ever want ~~advice or something, feel free to ask me, merchant chan desu. i haven’t actually played x/y yet but i (sadly) know a pretty decent amount about the moves in most gens.
yeS I WILL i mean i only have three pokemon and the highest level one i have is only level twenty so i mean i figure i’m not gonna screw anything up too bad but still yes that would be lovELY